The story of an Undercover Doofus
by hiimmac
Summary: My partner. Was a major butt hole, but all is good, I think since I'm assigned to a new partner. Hibari Kyouya. Oh god - I'm starting to miss my butt hole of a partner! FemaleTsuna
1. Chapter 1

WARNING: Hints of trolling, Foul language in different languages

Overall, Please enjoy .

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

I am a maid. Well. Pretending to be, anyways. I caked my face with dust as I used my feather duster to clean the cabinets. "This job sucks." I muttered to myself. My partner is officially stupid and moronic in so many ways possible. I thought back to our conversation.

_"A - A Maid? !" I yelled at him, "Are you crazy? ! Are you trying to sell me out here?" I scoffed in utter disbelief. As usual my coworkers had relaxed expressions and continued drinking their coffee, because as usual, I was fighting. With my partner. Again._

_"Look, It's only for a week - " He tried to make the best out of it, but of course I was just baffled._

_"A WEEK? !" I shrieked, his ears, I'm almost positive, they were on the brink of falling off. "Ohhh!" I said with a playful tone. "I also bet that you're going to be the one who's behind the scenes!" I looked at him with my mouth closed in a straight line. "Am I right?"_

_But, Look. I wouldn't talk in this kind of manner to anyone. I'm actually shy and I try to be polite, but.. when I face my partner.. It's like PMSing all over again. And trust me. I hate him, and I will never see myself loving him. Ever._

_"Yes! BUT - Hey! When this is all over I can - uh, treat you to lunch for a month!" Now, that's the classic apology that he uses it to grab me in, but might I say..._

_"Okay." I fall for it every time._

So that's how it went down. How... stupid am I? I question my sanity many times. "The view is quite nice from here."

I snapped my back straight up and whipped around. "Oh, Master.." I kinda seethed.. "How kind of you to notice my new choice of stockings I wore today!" Now. You pervert. I expect you to play along and then we'll go on about our day.

He smirked and sat down on a chair. "Come here... What was it...?" He snapped his fingers, trying to figure out what my name was. "Miss. Sawada, was it?" I nodded and he smirked again as I made my way towards him. "Raise your leg, so I can see them better."

I was really hesitant at first, but - think about free lunch for a month... I raised my leg and he grabbed my ankle, putting them on the seat of the chair, and if that wasn't bad enough, he put them between his legs. He caressed the stocking softly.

I can't take it anymore. In one quick motion, I slipped my foot and jammed hard into his - He groaned loudly and almost fell off the chair. I stood back and smiled, "I'm sorry, but I don't support sexual harassment." I gritted my teeth. What a horrible comeback.. But that was the least of my concerns. The man glared at me and his face was bright and very, very red.

"YOU! YOU ARE FIRED!" He yelled. A sense of, 'oh crap i just lost free lunch for a month and might possibly lose my other job too.' struck me hard as I ran out of the mansion and to my office.

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><p>Next thing I knew, we both, were at partner counseling. Yes. There is such a thing. The man was calm and wore a red... It looks Chinese, well, i don't know. Anyway, he looked very calm, composed, and even smiled at us. I returned his kindness by smiling back, but on the other hand, I knew my partner so well, it's terrifying actually, that I knew he sneered at the man's smile. "Sit down." There were no furniture, which to me wasn't a problem, BUT <em>on the other hand, <em>my butt hole of a partner was reluctant to sit down.

He even had no shame to ask rudely, "On the floor? You serious?" I mentally face palmed. This is exactly why you're here.

"Don't worry I vacuum the floor every day. Would you like some sanitizer too?" His face was composed, but he still held his gentle smile.

My partner sighed, "No. Thank you. Let's just get this over with, I have an appointment at - "

"_No one_ cares. Let Fon take his time." I darted my eyes at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry did I say appointment? I meant on a date. Unlike you, who has all the time in the world, Miss. _Forever Alone_." He made a face and that set me off.

"Can you have the least of a considerate well being inside of you, to respect someone while meeting them the first time? !" I spat out.

"You know who you remind me of? ! My naggy and saggy grandma! She's dead!" He spat back at me with much more force.

"_Kutabare!_" I yelled at him, I felt people surround the door at our fight, I felt Fon's eyes at us as he calmly sipped his tea, but I didn't care, I was full on, pissed.

"Oh, speaking Japanese?" He smirked, "_Fottiti, Mangia merde e morte, Figlio di __una cagna_! Guess what, I'm Itailian!" He had this smug smile on his face that said, 'i just said something to you, and you didn't know what it meant~' but, boy, was he wrong.

I was speechless at first, but my ears blew out steam and my face, extremely red. I grabbed the collar of his shirt. "I'm 1/3 Italian." His face fell and I smacked him brutally on the face. Twice. On each cheek.

Well. That ended our fight. Fon, However observed us and I blushed for showing my ugly and quite unsightly side of me. "I have made a solution. I demote you to the Back up division."

My partner burst out laughing, "Back up division? That's the lowest position! Wow! You screwed up!" He pointed at me, in tears, mostly because I may have hit him too hard, I thought.

"I'm sorry for showing such hostile actions to you Fon-sama, I'll go pack my things." I ignored my partner's laughs as I began to stand up. Fon looked at me and he smiled.

He placed his tea cup on the floor, "Of course I am not talking to you, Tsunayoshi, and there is no need to put such honorifics." We both blankly stared at him.

"Pardon?" My partner said, barely audible.

I settled myself down, and this time, I had the smug look. "He said, he demoted you to the back up division." He glared at me with rage. "You mad?" He got up without another word and slammed the door shut. Figuring there was a lot of people dropping in on our conversation I could hear him say,

"_CAZZO_! Why don't you mind your business!" And at once, I heard numerous steps going all over the place.

I turned around, feeling my legs had gone asleep I muttered, "What about me, Fon?"

He took a sip of his tea, "Your new partner will be my twin brother, Hibari Kyouya."

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><p>Japanese Translation :<p>

Kutabare = Go to hell

**http:/ www. sljfaq .org/afa q/insu**

Italian Translation :

Fottiti = Fuck you

**http: / www .gam bino .com /curs e.h tm**

Mangia merde e morte = Eat shit and die

**http:/ www. yous wear .com/i ndex. asp?l angu age =It alian**

Figlio di una cagna = You son of a bitch

**I used google translate for this**

****I'm not trying to mock the languages I just have little knowledge on it, so I had to look them up, and even used google translate. My bad, if they're wrong.

Gimme support if you liked!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I guess I haven't explained thoroughly about who I am and what I do. I work at a secret corporation, Crime Investigation. We're kinda like detectives, but only in secret. Reason why we're so hidden is because, we don't follow the law. In order to keep this place safe, we scout out people to join us. There are three parts that make this corporation. Backup, Undercover, and Solution Division.

The Backup division are just people who help the Undercover division if they are in a pickle. That is their only reason for existence.

The Undercover division, however, collects the information of the crime. We disguise ourselves and blend in. Which is why I was dressed as a maid. You could say we are like spies. We are the ones who investigate.

Finally, the Solution division are the geniuses. Based on the information that we collect, they make the solutions and solve the crimes. Our alliance is the court, who thus throws the criminals into jail. Though they know nothing about our identity and where we are.

We are the C.I. and we are everywhere.

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><p>I knocked on the door. No answer. "Hibari-san?" I called out. This time I opened the door, surprisingly it was open and I walked right in. A man was sitting in a chair, the back of the chair was leaning backwards and his head was slightly tilted. That must've been Hibari-san. "Hibari.." I lightly tapped his shoulder. He eyes quickly shot open and a tonfa magically appeared, already held at my neck. "ssaaann!" I yelped.<p>

"Who are you?" He growled piercing his eyes at me.

"I - I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi!" I stuttered, terrified because the cold metal of the tonfa was touching my neck which sent my spine, shivering.

He quickly glanced at the door which was half open. "You went in without permission?" He snarled with so much hate. "I'll bite you to death."

"I'm really sorry! I - You weren't answering so I went in - I'm really -" I stopped for a moment to think what he said lastly. "E - Excuse me?" Bite me.. to death? "You're gonna... w - what now?"

He pushed his tonfa harder under my chin. I gulped. I guess that was another saying that he was going to beat me up or something. Or maybe he was hitting on me - that's highly unlikely, Tsuna, by the way he's looming over me. "Your twin brother - Fon, Yeah, he set us up as partners." I said quickly.

He put away his tonfa. "I don't need one, so get out of my sight, herbivore."

"But, Hibari-san, I don't think we have a choice! I already have the mission sent to me," I tried to reconcile with him. Herbivore? ! What language are you speaking.

"You're fired then." Hibari said coldly.

"Wh - What? !" I squeaked. "Y - You can't fire me!" I was dumbfounded at his bluntness.

"Who says I can't? You're getting on my nerves. You're fired." He said it all to simply and began doing paperwork. I gaped and stood still.

"But Hibari-san - !" I finally spoke, trying to tell him that - ...

Hibari suddenly stood up and grabbed the back of my shirt, dragging me out of his office. I let out an, 'eep' and my feet was dragged across the floor with my arms flailing. When he opened the door he let go of my shirt and standing there was, the founder of the corporation. Iematsu-sama. Everybody immediately fixed their ties and flattened their shirts. Even the heartless Hibari. I looked in awe how it was possible to show who was 'boss' with someone like Hibari.

"Good Timing, Iematsu-sama." He narrowed his eyes at me. I gasped, jumping out of my thoughts and into reality.

"Wait! Hibari-san!" I tugged his arm, but he shrugged me away. Iematsu-sama looked at me and he smiled.

"Tsu-kun!" He hugged me and I blushed. He looked back at Hibari. "Is my daughter bothering you?" My face began to redden more.

"P - Papa, there's no need to worry, we're both fine!" I quickly unattached myself from Papa. I slightly inched myself closer to Hibari. "Me and Hibari-san are just happy that we got paired up, that's all! Haha!" I laughed nervously at the end. I could feel Hibari-san's glare at me. You see, I don't want people to know that I'm the founder's daughter. I just don't want people to expect things from me, I'm just a normal and dull Undercover spy that has no special features about myself. It might seem self-deprecating, but it's true.

"Well, See ya, Dad!" I quickly hid myself in Hibari's office, blushing at maximum. Hibari came in after me, still scowling at me. "Please don't tell anyone! Please!" I clapped my hands together and shut my eyes tightly. "I - I'll treat you to lunch this month!"

He stared at me before answering. "2 months."

"WH - What? !" I squeaked, Just because my dad is rich doesn't mean you can just... He's glaring at me again. "Okay.." I sighed.

He went to sit down in his seat, "You must be a stupid herbivore." I gaped. "It's an honor to be the founder's daughter." Not really. "Stupid Herbivore." He muttered again and I crossed my arms. He really wasn't anything like his brother. The total opposite.

"So, about the mission - " I started, but then Hibari suddenly opened one of his cabinets, pulled out a pistol, and slammed it on his desk. "Oh my god! Watch how you handle that Hibari - You could kill someone!" I yelled, hiding behind his furniture. "Did you put it away yet?" I whined a little.

"If you want to be my partner, handling a gun is required." He said simply.

"Are we... Are we gonna kill someone..?" My voice trembled.

"If the time calls for it. Come here, I'll show you how to use it." I was reluctant to stand up, but took a deep breath and crawled over to him. "Closer, and stand up." He growled, growing impatient with me. I stood up and he dropped the weapon in my palms. I squeaked and immediately dropped it, letting it fall on my feet.

Ow. "That wasn't very bright of me.." I whispered, bending down, I carefully picked up the gun, using only two fingers.

"Hold it properly." He grabbed my hands and it made me shiver, because his hands were icy, cold. He placed my index finger between the trigger guard and the trigger, my thumb on the hammer, and my other fingers wrapped around the grip frame. When I finally held the gun properly, I quickly moved my hand away to detach the hand contact we had.

"Thanks." I murmured. He ignored me and stood in front me.

"Aim for my legs, makes the enemy unstable. Pull back the hammer, and shoot." He instructed. I nodded, but my brain went completely brain-dead.

"Wait, _shoot you_? You're asking me to shoot you? Can't we just get a board - " I was flabbergasted and flailed the gun around, my eyes were going completely wide.

"Did I stutter, Sawada Tsunayoshi?" He said my name like my sensei's would do, but he was only one year older than me! One year!

"No! But!" I whimpered, this man is insane!

"Shoot me." He demanded. I trembled, I didn't want to hurt anyone, why did we have to use such weapons? Wasn't that the Backup Division's job? I raised my gun, but my whole body shook, my hand was shaking, and I almost dropped the pistol. I slowly pulled back the hammer. "If this were real, the enemy would've blown off your head by now." My eyes widened and I could hear my heart beat loudly. I could picture it.

"Stop." I gasped. I dropped the gun and covered my ears. I saw as the gun fell and saw a bullet fly to Hibari's shoe. Due to the impact, the trigger must have been pushed back. I clenched my eyes, "No!" I yelled, collapsing to my knees and trembling like a lost bunny. I stayed in that position for a while until I felt a huge blow on my head. I squeaked and raised my head to see Hibari's eyes, with no pain shown. He held the bullet between his fingers and squished it.

"The bullets were Styrofoam." He said. I blanked.

What.


End file.
